Several years ago when I had stayed away from church services for three weeks doing instead my meditations, I told Dean, “no one ever told me Sunday mornings could be like this.” They had become lovely. I would sit on the deck sometimes in silence, sometimes with gentle music playing, and meditate and pray ~ pray more deeply than I had for a while. There was great peace in that. At that time however, I thought I would be returning to regular services very soon. That didn’t happen for all sorts of reasons, the biggest one being the experience I just related.
I thought of that this morning again as I settled into my rocker in front of the fire, a second cup of tea in my hand, surrounded by sun streaming in across snow laden pines. I miss the church community. And I cannot bring myself to return to the Sunday morning discipline of attending. I have found a website from my denomination that has a 30 minute service where I can worship in a more traditional way if I want. Mostly I stay with my prayers and meditations. Sometimes I sit in gratitude for the beauty around me and the blessings of my family.
More and more I am convinced that the important thing is the recognition of the Divine in our lives ~ whatever form that takes for you, whatever name you call your Deity ~ and especially how you live out your life in service to others. In gratitude and with blessings for your journey ~
2 comments:
Interesting that you published this today.
I've known this to be your practice for a very long time, and we have corresponded about it. Today for the first time in umpteen weeks I skipped church. I just needed a break in the midst of Lent. But I didn't spend the time in quiet and meditation. I slept in, had breakfast, did my New Yrok Times and Trader Joe's run, did major yard work, took Tasha for her walk, sat down and did my monthly bill pay routine, and prepared dinner to put in the pressure cooker. All work all day. I am none the better for having skipped church today. I need the Bread and the Wine, but every once in a while I need to miss it in order to remind me how much I need it.
We each need to do what works for us.
Once in a great while I have that kind of Sunday, but mostly not. Mostly I keep Sabbath in a rather gentle way. When that happens to me, I too realize I need my journey even if it isn't in a sanctuary so I do understand.
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