Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Bodily Energy

Bodily energy is an interesting phenomenon. Most of the time it is out and about and all over the place and it takes conscious meditation or slowing down to focus it internally. Once in a while though - like the last two weeks when I had bronchitis - it has a mind of its own. For nearly two weeks, my energy was totally focused on me, on healing, on restoring me to myself. For several days it was so internally focused that I could hardly open my eyes and I slept a lot. Even when I was staying awake most of the day, I had no sense of anything beyond myself. I did not care. 

Then slowly, almost reluctantly, bits of my energy began to turn outward again. I became aware that there was specific food I wanted.  I became aware of the pile of laundry. I picked up my Kindle and read. Slowly, slowly. I began to wander in the kitchen and even prepare my own food. I became a bit bored and wanted company. Playing a game on my computer didn’t exhaust me. 

And so my energy is slowly returning to its focus both inward and outward. This morning I even got up and got dressed first thing. Oh, I’ve been in clothes several times, including yesterday for a trip to the PO, grocery store and pharmacy. I’ve been outside. I always prepared for that later in the day though and came home to quickly revert to jammies and robe and even to get back into bed. Today, my intention is to stay dressed all day and spend most of it in the living room. Sure - probably sitting in my comfy chair, and that is a step up from the bed. 

I can feel the energy shift as more and more of it moves from helping me heal to helping me live in the world again. “Listen to your body” has been a mantra for me since I was thirteen. I’m listening, and feeling, and it remains a fascinating journey. 

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