Tired

I am tired. Tired of seeing all the posts on FB about Charlottesville. Tired of struggling with my own words to try to express my outrage and anger. Tired of the realization that the now blatant racism has just been lying dormant all these years waiting for permission to explode again. And if I am tired - oh my, how desperately tired must be the folks against whom all this racism and oppression has been focused for centuries.

As a privileged white woman, I cannot begin to imagine (although I do try) how tired people who have faced this all their lives must be. I may have thought it had gone away. They knew differently and watched it explode through police violence, ugly responses to Black Lives Matter marches and personal slurs and accusations. 

Again I am reminded of the orchestral analogy that when the note is to be held for measures beyond the breath’s capacity, take a breath for someone else will still be holding the note and once you breathe, they too can take a breath. And so today I take a breath. 

A former pastor of mine posts, day after day, articles and pictures and blogs of resistance. And at the same time he posts pictures of his delightful granddaughter and his pride in his family. He balances his resistance with his love and light in life.

Today I will take a breath. Then I will return to finding my way through my own life to resist, to stand tall, to say This is Not Normal. I will continue to believe in America as it can and should be. ~ blessings to you on your journey through this life