If Rex had lived August 24th would have been our 50th wedding anniversary and there would have been some sort of a party and celebration and all sorts of whoopla just because we had made it this long together. Rex didn’t make it. And neither did Nancy. Dean and Nancy were also married in 1961, December 26 to be exact. And so as Dean points out, this is our 50th anniversary year of being married. Oh yes, we both had a break after more than 35 years - spent some time alone, but not really enough to get out of the marriage mode.
Of course you don’t just switch one spouse for another ~ after we married each other, we adjusted, we changed, we worked through issues both of us thought had already been worked through years before only to remember that was with the other spouse.
I have recently been given some pictures from family archives of my grandparents’ fiftieth wedding anniversary. They had to have been about my age because I know my grandmother had her first daughter at 18. They are a very handsome couple. They had lived a strong and probably hard life. Papa Dear was a farmer. Mama Dear had run a boarding house. And yet there they are at their fiftieth anniversary looking soft and demure. Neither look like they have been to a gym a day in their lives nor like they had much energy about them. I think Dean and I must be a lot younger at 68 than they were at the same age.
I guess that is to say that although all fifty years of marriage have not been to the same person, we are glad to be living in an age when that may still be a milestone, and we don’t have to stop and stay here. We are able to continue the joys of marriage (“we get to do it again”, Dean says) as well as a healthy, strong, energetic aging process.
3 comments:
I tend to put my first marriage into a different lifetime and a different world. Not entirely fair. I admire your ability to integrate.
Reminds me that our 50th would have been this September 9th. Missed it by 8 months.
Mike, it may be because we have known each other since 1st grade so our being together was sort of natural. He was my buddy and I could talk to him and we didn't have to "meet" ~ my daughter even asked him once, "why didn't you date my mother when you were in high school?" Plus, my step-mother allowed me to talk about my mother and I learned a Lot from her.
Carol, I continue to think about you and care and "know" ~ don't ignore the day. It is important for us to remember even as we weave a new story. Love you -
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