Always Listen

Listening to my body. It has been my mantra since I was 13 and I see no reason to abandon it now. Last night I was in tears, sobbing ~ my feet and ankles felt weird and funny and my nerves were all on edge and as I lay there I realized there was more than a physical reason for my tears. I did not, do not want to go to this meeting in Reno today. Do Not want to be on anyone’s advisory board. Do Not want to become involved again. And the other thing I realized - duh! - is that no one was going to hog tie me and make me go. So in a few minutes I will call Norman, thank him for his kind offer and tell him I’m not coming. As I said to Dean, if as the old saying goes, I had had the sense I was born with, when he asked if I was interested in being on an advisory board, I should have said no. Then I wouldn’t have had all this gentle angst this week and tear last night at all.

There was a moment of “whoa” this morning when I told Dean. He said, “Oh, honey, you can’t do that.” “Of course I can.” And that was that. After a bit more information from me, he said, “well, of course if you don’t want to, you shouldn’t.” You got it, my friend. :) And I am sorry to be telling Norman this so late. I am sure I would have enjoyed meeting people today and had a good time although I was not looking forward to the drive to Reno by myself. That would have been immaterial had I really wanted to do the job. Just not my thing. After all, I quit the PSR board after a three-year term. Just not my thing no matter what others think might be good for me. Phew. Slept really well last night after that decision. Always listen. Bodies rarely steer us wrong.